I happened to be taking care of some personal business in Oceanside NY when i saw this
ad for a cheese steak eating competition in Rock vile Centre. Now we all know i cannot
enter these events due to my commitments with MLE so i asked the owner if he could
clock me without attempting to qualify. The owner was more than gracious and even
showed me two mugshots of eaters that qualified for the event. One dude named Hoffman
and the other had a last name sounding like a penny arcade. The fastest times so far were
4:05 and 3:56 . I said wait a minute these names sound familiar . I put two and two together
and realized who their da da is. He mentioned something about all pro eaters. I told him say
no more . I had another word in mind replacing the word "eaters" but i wont repeat it Let
me smoke these pathetic times in record time for if not, i dont belong in the same league
with ML eaters. The owner read the rules but i told him i have no interest in signing up for
this contest nor do i have any interest in paying $25 entry fee and last but certainly not
least i have no intention of competing in an event sanctioned by you know who. I'll take
solitary confinement with 5yrs of Chinese water torture than god forbid have my name
appear on that website . The qualifiers are 8oz of meat with two slices of cheese on 7inch
hero. You must eat two of them to qualify. So as a goof i went through the motions of a
make believe qualifier. My big mistake was not letting them cool off until they reached room
temperature . I ate them semi hot which slowed me down . I finished the first one in 1:12
and the second 2:14 for a total time 3:26 besting the time they claim was the fastest to date.
. I was easily paced for a final time of 2:26 but the heat from the meat slowed me up and i
was pissed as shit about it. I would love to do it again only this time let them sit for at least
20 min instead of the 3 i decided on. I mean damn i was damn hungry and when BB is
hungry there aint no waitin. The owner pleaded with me "are you sure you don't want in" I
told him no thanks im on my merry way but have yourself a happy mothers day. Watch
short video below
ad for a cheese steak eating competition in Rock vile Centre. Now we all know i cannot
enter these events due to my commitments with MLE so i asked the owner if he could
clock me without attempting to qualify. The owner was more than gracious and even
showed me two mugshots of eaters that qualified for the event. One dude named Hoffman
and the other had a last name sounding like a penny arcade. The fastest times so far were
4:05 and 3:56 . I said wait a minute these names sound familiar . I put two and two together
and realized who their da da is. He mentioned something about all pro eaters. I told him say
no more . I had another word in mind replacing the word "eaters" but i wont repeat it Let
me smoke these pathetic times in record time for if not, i dont belong in the same league
with ML eaters. The owner read the rules but i told him i have no interest in signing up for
this contest nor do i have any interest in paying $25 entry fee and last but certainly not
least i have no intention of competing in an event sanctioned by you know who. I'll take
solitary confinement with 5yrs of Chinese water torture than god forbid have my name
appear on that website . The qualifiers are 8oz of meat with two slices of cheese on 7inch
hero. You must eat two of them to qualify. So as a goof i went through the motions of a
make believe qualifier. My big mistake was not letting them cool off until they reached room
temperature . I ate them semi hot which slowed me down . I finished the first one in 1:12
and the second 2:14 for a total time 3:26 besting the time they claim was the fastest to date.
. I was easily paced for a final time of 2:26 but the heat from the meat slowed me up and i
was pissed as shit about it. I would love to do it again only this time let them sit for at least
20 min instead of the 3 i decided on. I mean damn i was damn hungry and when BB is
hungry there aint no waitin. The owner pleaded with me "are you sure you don't want in" I
told him no thanks im on my merry way but have yourself a happy mothers day. Watch
short video below
